Even more unexpected hair issues
by SaidbhinLuch
Summary: Simply Jack reacting to people's changing hairstyles. He really doesn't take it well and Sam is stuck smack in the middle. Language due to a slip in Sam's mental ramblings.
1. Chapter 1

'They cut your hair.' The Colonel stated obviously as they sat inside in the infirmary.

Daniel all but glowered at him and tugged at his newly shorn hair rather self consciously.

'Yes, Jack they did.'

'It's really short.' He blinked in what could only be described as wonderment as he cocked his head at him.

'Thank you.' Daniel bit out, lying back in the bed and staring up at the ceiling, grinding his teeth slightly.

'I mean it's _really_ short.' Sam was watching the increasing bizarre conversation play out between both men. She couldn't tell if the Colonel was being serious or just attempting to drive Daniel completely up the walls.

Given how long he'd been talking about Daniels' new hair style it was the latter reason.

Janet at this point was standing outside the team and was watching the two grown men in slack jawed shock. Makepeace and his team were guffawing at them and Teal'c seemed to be kel'no'reem-ing.

Sneaky bastard, Sam thought waspishly as she watched him.

'I mean look at you! It's _really _short!'

'I'm perfectly aware of that Jack, can we please leave it alone.'

'But-'

'JACK!'

'_Daniel_!'

Janet at this point had overcome her shock over the lunacy of the conversation and had come over to her and was doing the usual check up.

'I have found a new level of respect for you Sam.' Jane muttered quietly to her as she shone the ever annoying penlight into her eyes. Sam nodded, smiling slightly as she focused on her friend and not the squabbling children. The argument had descended into simply barking _Jack _and _Daniel_ at each other.

'The bonuses are pretty good.' She joked crossing her legs and leaning back on her forearms. Both women focused on the men yet again.

'Stop commenting Jack!'

'It's really disconcerting!' At this Sam and Janet exchanged a confused glance.

'Seriously?'

'I've known you as the shaggy hair linguist for over three years! This isn't you!'

'For Christs' sake Jack!' At this point Sam and Janet were watching this argument like they were watching a tennis match. Sam couldn't help but wonder how ridiculous this looked to anyone else milling around.

Two grown, intelligent, successful, if not somewhat powerful men, squabbling like children, two women watching the back and forth in bafflement and one alien meditating in the corner.

Just when Sam thought that her life had reached the maximum in weirdness.

'Am I not allowed to be surprised by sudden changes in my life?'

'Sure you are, but it's my HAIR!'

'I have to look at it nearly every day!'

'It's _my hair!'_

'You don't have to look at it all the time!'

'Sam's hair changes all the time and yet you don't comment!'

'Hey!' At this Sam couldn't help but interject, those two arguing about something completely inane was one thing but to drag her into the mix was quite another.

'You two leave me out of this!' She pointed at both of the commandingly and narrowed her eyes as a warning.

'Sorry Sam.'

'Sorry Carter.' Daniel and the Colonel both mumbled apologetically at her and tried to pull the puppy dog eye trick on her.

Sam merely stared at them levelly and they both mumbled sorry again.

'And to think that most of the women are base are jealous of you.' Janet muttered under her breath to Sam and she had to do her best to stop herself from laughing.

'Especially with Daniel's new hair.' She countered quietly and Janet had to bite down on her lip to prevent the laughter.

'You poor woman.' Janet giggled as she moved away with varying blood samples and notations.

'Oh woe is me.' Sam called rolling her eyes and turning to find both Daniel and the Colonel staring at her in a similar manner to her previous look. She blinked before pulling her most innocent expression and smiling brightly at them.

Luckily for her, the guys usually bought her innocent stare, wasn't like Sam was the type to need to fake that particular look.

Teal'c was the only one who didn't buy it, but he always saw why she needed to do it. A very understanding jaffa, Teal'c. She couldn't imagine Bra'tac doing the same thing for her.

He'd probably focus on the Colonel and call him a hassock.

She really had to ask Daniel what that meant, could come in extremely handy.

'Anyway Daniel, I don't comment on Carter's hair because she's a woman. Hair change is normal, I'm just glad I don't have to guess what's different. Sorry.' The Colonel focused back on Daniel, but gave Sam a rueful look at the latter part, which she just waved off.

Though she did have the mental image of the Colonel stammering and looking baffled at what Sam had done to her hair.

Sam had to will herself not to laugh at that.

'Can you please stop? Yes they did cut my hair. Woop de bloody do! A-mazing.' Daniel snapped at him and they both dissolved back into their finicky arguing.

Sam couldn't fathom how these too managed to get so much out of one hair cut. They had now been arguing for total three quarters of an hour about Daniels new hairstyle.

Personally Sam thought it was about time, but she was smart enough to know when to keep her mouth shut.

She also couldn't understand why the Colonel was so baffled by the change, but he was by nature a surprising man. She should really have known better, but they'd had a rough couple of days.

'Jack if I could get up I would smack you!'

'Like you'd actually manage to make contact!'

Sam rolled her eyes, not caring who saw, and suppressed a groan.

'It looks like they cut it with a very small bowl!'

'Well at least I don't have grey hair!'

Sam couldn't help the loud groan that let loose.

She was going to kill them both.

Screw the consequences.

'DAMNIT DANIEL!'

Oh yeah they were both doomed.

* * *

**_Yeah this popped into my head this afternoon and I just went YES!_**

**_I was hoping to do a follow up to 'Unexpected Hair Issues' as the response has be amazing and I was rewatching 'Out of Mind' and 'Into the Fire' and I just knew that I had to do this.  
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**_Only Jack could get away with it, and Sam would of course be stuck in the middle of it all.  
_**

**_I even have another about Teal'c half done... My muse fairy was very kind this afternoon!  
_**

**_Anyways enjoy and I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! I'm still giggling.  
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**_PLEEEEEEEASE read and review!  
_**


	2. Teal'c's new 'fro!

**It's Teal'c's turn now! Mwuhahahaaaaa! Also anything you recognise is NOT mine I repeat NOT mine! (Damn) Brownie points for who ever gets my sneaky references! **

* * *

'Teal'c has hair now.' Sam turned and blinked at the source of the random comment coming from one side of the room.

The Colonel was sitting up in bed and staring at the opposite wall, to the left of Sam's head and frowning in confusion. She arched an eyebrow at him and nodded slightly.

'I mean he has _hair_.' It would seem that the Colonel was fixated on yet another hair issue.

Suddenly her joy at seeing him alert, alive and truly himself again evaporated.

Where was Daniel when you needed him?

'Yes, Sir, he has hair.' She idly commented as she thumbed through a report from Captain Anderson, a computer technician on the Prometheus. Sam shook her head as she heard the Colonel continuing to mumble irritably from the other side of the room.

'I mean he tried to shave _my _head and then he turns around and grows out his hair out... Hypocritical ass.'

Sam looked up at him with a sceptical look on her face to see him _this close_ to pouting with his arms folded across his chest

She found herself shaking her head and hiding behind the surprising slightly funny report. Captain Anderson seemed unable to prevent his sense of humour bleeding into his report. Impressive given it was detailing the computer software updates for the Prometheus. At least she had some reports to be looking forward to now.

'Last time I saw him, no hair and now... he practically has a full on afro.' Sam nodded once again, barely listening to him. Teal'c then, conveniently enough walked into the infirmary with Doctor Brightman and dropped off lunch for the pair, ignoring the suspicious stare that the Colonel was levelling at him.

Sam rolled her eyes and shook her head at Teal'c who barely smiled at her as he grabbed half her stack of paper work ignoring her small noise of protest.

'Look at him!' The Colonel gestured wildly at his retreating back and looked at her imploringly.

Sam instead lifted her report and hid behind it yet again. After four months of being frozen in the Antarctic and worrying constantly about him, less than 24 hours since he'd saved her, she was hiding from him.

Well his hair related insanity.

What surprised her the most was the fact that this wasn't the first time she had a conversation of this nature with him.

Though to be honest, at this point, after knowing him for nearly eight years, it shouldn't have.

God her life was strange.

Or her commanding officer was.

Actually it was probably both, but Sam didn't really feel like quibbling.

'Sorry Carter, I'm just trying to wrap my head around this. You got to see the evolution of the hair growth. I went from a bald T to one with hair. Poof. Mentally jarring, that.'

At this Sam looked up at him thoughtfully, lowering the report to her lap and cocking her head slightly.

'I never thought about it like that.' She mused out loud as she grabbed the coffee and took a sip. The Colonel who had clearly followed suit, let out a very satisfied noise.

'Oh coffee, oh how I've missed you!' Sam heard him mutter and she shook her head in amusement.

A contented silence settled over the room.

That is until the Colonel looked up at her.

'I still can't believe he grew out his hair!'

Sam sighed and lifted the report and hid behind it yet again.

She rolled her eyes as she blocked her face from view.

The muttering resumed from the other side of the room as Sam started to analyze the schematic. She glanced up at him every so often only to see him looking at his reflection in a spoon.

Was he always this mental or had the latest download scramble his brain?

'He's going to have an afro... An actual afro.'

Sam at this point had given up actually getting through her report and stared wonderingly at the baffled man sitting across from her.

He had (thankfully) lowered the spoon but did not put it back and was now bouncing one leg irritably on the bed and glaring at the spot left to Sam's head. The Colonel seemed oblivious to her wide eyed stare and continued to ramble on almost incoherently.

It wasn't the first time that Sam had seen him ramble on in such a fashion, but it was the first time that he had done so completely sober. This was generally the reaction when dosed on _very_ powerful narcotics.

And only for a short time at that.

She wasn't sure if she should be amused or worried.

She was also having a hell of a time ignoring the part of her that found it hilariously cute.

And that was bad, as United States Air Force Colonels were not cute.

Oh no.

Especially not ex-Special Forces and Black Ops trained ones.

Most definitely not cute.

But somehow her brain was ignoring this and was going _'d'awwwwwwwwwwwww' _instead.

Sam closed her eyes and winced slightly at her wayward thoughts.

'Not to mention it still looks _weird_... It hasn't fully grown out... but what the hell?' Sam quickly moved past finding this oddly cute and was now beyond aggravated.

'I'm hoping that's a rhetorical question Sir.' Sam told him leaning back and staring at him incredulously. This time the Colonel actually looked up at her shamefacedly and half smiled and placed the spoon back down on the tray.

'Sorry, Carter, again. So what's been going on since I...' He made a vague hand gesture at her and looked at her inquisitively.

'Not much really. Daniel lost it a couple of times at Dr. Weir, politicians were squabbling about the outpost so there was more Daniel ranting. Teal'c began looking for a place in the Springs... I spent time with Cassie and ammmmmm...' Sam trailed off, exhaling loudly and arched an eyebrow at the expectant man sitting across from her.

'Oh yeah, Kinsey was fired.' She added as an afterthought and waited for his response.

'WHAT?'

Yup.

As expected, loud and beyond delighted.

'And _why _didn't you tell me this sooner?' He demanded leaping out of bed and jumping happily.

'This was far too entertaining a opportunity to pass up. Oh.' Sam stopped at the end of the sentence with a hazy sense of apprehension.

'What?'

'I promised Daniel he'd be here for this. Oh he's going to be _maaaaaaaaaaaaaad.'_

'Kinsey has been fired! Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!' The Colonel the proceeded to dance what Sam presumed to be his victory dance. He even proceeded to sing 'dance, dance, everybody look at your pants!'... that man and his TV shows.

Yeah, definitely not so cute anymore.

And beyond mental.

Still she was relieved to see him.

Oh she had issues.

'Hey guys! ... Why are you dancing Jack?' Daniel and Teal'c walked into the infirmary and stopped dead at the sight of the Colonel dancing. Sam shrugged and shrank back into the bed waiting for the dawning realization.

'You _TOLD_ him without witnesses? Without me as one of said witnesses? As we _agreed?_' He demanded turning to her and pointing at her dramatically. Sam shrugged again smiling guiltily at him shrinking even further back into the bed.

'At least you saw the victory dance. Never thought that I'd see that.' She commented idly as she passed Teal'c the turkey sandwich from her tray. Teal'c stared at her for a moment before devouring it and nodded gratefully at her.

The three then stopped and stared at the Colonel stood next to Teal'c and stared keenly at his head.

'I still can't believe it.' At this both Sam and Daniel groaned and Teal'c made a sound that sounded eerily similar to a huff.

'It's very Earth.' He tried again as he continued scrutinise Teal'c new look. Teal'c at this point seemed to tune out the Colonel's random obseverations about his new hairstyle and continued to enjoy his lunch.

'Overall I like it.' Sam and Daniel exchanged baffled looks before they spoke in unison.

'_Seriously?_'

'What?' The Colonel actually had the gall to look blankly from one to the other. Sam felt her eyebrows shooting up to her hairline and her jaw dropping.

'All you've done is comment on weird it is that he changed it and now you're just like _'I like it'_?' Daniel asked disbelievingly, glasses slipping down his nose and his eyes the widest Sam had ever seen them.

'It was just a tad discombobulating at first. Now I'm like... 'S alright.' He commented lightly nodding at Teal'c and sitting down on his bed once more. Daniel stared round at Sam in baffled manner before rolling his eyes and sitting down on the edge of her bed.

'However I still can't believe it.'

Who was going to kill him first, her, Daniel or Teal'c, it was really too soon to tell.

She was half hoping it was her.

'I'm mean _really_ can't believe it.'

Yeah, she was going to end him.

* * *

**Now about how long Jack was frozen for... I tried looking it up but there was no mention of it so I guessed four months... If I'm wrong _please_ point it out and I'll go fix it! Once again the giggles were had with this one... Oh Jack how you make me laugh!**

**Also major props and thanks to everyone who reviewed Daniel's one shot! I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as I did! And to K-MI and Guest THANK YOU! I'm glad you enjoyed the way I wrote them, I love doing that! Isn't that obvious? Teehee :P  
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**As always read and review! But laugh I want you to enjoy the funny!  
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